BOSS AND HIS SUBORDINATE

Employee vs Boss - Awesome Conversation..

An employee goes to his boss to discuss his appraisal. Boss starts asking questions:

Boss - There are 50 bricks on an airplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Employee - That's easy. There are 49 left.

Boss - How would you put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee - Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Then close the fridge.

Boss - How would you put a deer into the fridge?

Employee - Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Then close the fridge.

Boss - It's the lion's birthday. All animals are at the party except one. Who is missing & why?

Employee - Deer is missing because it is in the fridge.

Boss - An old woman wants to cross a swamp
filled with crocodiles. How will she do it?

Employee - She just has to cross from 1 side to the other because all the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday party.

Boss - Last question. The old lady still died why crossing the swamp. How?

Employee - Err... I guess she drowned?

Boss - No! She was hit by the brick that fell from the airplane.

You may leave.

When the Boss is adamant, it is said he is determined.	When the subordinate is determined, it is said he is adamant.
When the Boss is arrogant, it is said he is assertive.	When the subordinate is assertive, it is said he is arrogant.
When the Boss is confused, it is said he is tight-lipped.	When the subordinate is tight-lipped, it is said he is confused.
When the Boss is indecisive, it is said he is exploring various options.	When the subordinate is exploring various options, it is said he is indecisive.
When the Boss is miserly, it is said he is frugal.	When the subordinate is frugal, it is said he is miserly.
When the Boss is oblivious, it is said he is too busy.	When the subordinate is too busy, it is said he is oblivious.
When the Boss is raw and inexperienced, it is said he is full of fresh ideas and energy.	When the subordinate is full of fresh ideas and energy, it is said he is raw and inexperienced.
When the Boss is so ignorant, it is said he is plain-hearted.	When the subordinate is plain-hearted, it is said he is so ignorant.
When the Boss is incompetent, it is said he is getting things done.	When the subordinate is getting things done, it is said he is incompetent.
When the Boss shirks his responsibilities, it is said he is over-burdened.	When the subordinate is over-burdened, it is said he shirks his responsibilities.
When the Boss is antiquated, it is said he is too precious.	When the subordinate is too precious, it is said he is antiquated.
When the Boss is devious, it is said he is treading a novel path.	When the subordinate is treading a novel path, it is said he is devious.
When the Boss is an escapist, it is said he is good at directing.	When the subordinate is good at directing, it is said he is an escapist.
When the Boss wastes time and resources, it is said he is planning something big.	When the subordinate is planning something big, it is said he wastes time and resources.
When the Boss claims credit for the achievements of someone else, it is said as a team leader, he is entitled to it.	When the subordinate claims credit for his own achievements, it is said he is too selfish.
When the Boss bye-passes his superiors and develops personal intimacy with the top management, it is said he is very clever at manoeuvring.	When the subordinate bye-passes his Boss and develops personal intimacy with the top management, it is said he disrespectful and disobedient.

          

                                                                                                                                                                        BY- pannvalan

Top Executives of Banks Are More Responsible For Downfall in Ethics

Sting on 3 private banks: Managers fail ethics test if CEOs don’t talk ethics---By Anand Mahadevan---- Economic times

There are some fine CEOs running the very banks whose officials were caught on camera, allegedly agreeing to help a walk-in customer launder money, flout know-your-customer norms and stash black money in oversized lockers. It is unthinkable that any of these CEOs would ever promote such behaviour under any circumstance.

How, then, does one explain the footage from the Cobrapost sting — which if it is indeed authentic — does seem to suggest that branch managers offered "edgy" assistance to help a walk-in customer wanting to convert black money into white?

There can be only one explanation: there is a gaping ethics hole among middle managers in India Inc even in companies where the top managements are spotless.

Many CEOs, especially the CEOs of these banks, without any doubt, live and work by the highest standards of ethics. There has never been even a hint of suspicion of any impropriety on their part. Equally true is the fact that most CEOs, not just these, also drive their employees to deliver the best performance, and then, better it. And they are extremely good at this.

What is often lost in translation is that ethics can never, ever be compromised in order to boost performance. But the Cobrapost sting suggests that all middle managers may not share this conviction that exists at the top.

The footage from the sting has no evidence that any of these managers asked for any personal gratification to help the reporter posing as a customer to launder money. If indeed they violated any laws, the only motive would be more business for the banks they work for and, obviously, better performance against their name.

One is, therefore, tempted to surmise that these branch managers saw their quarterly targets, and they also saw the code of ethics at these banks and the laws of the land, and chose to take some liberty.

This is their failure. But, in some sense, it is also a failure of those above them.

In the brutal reality of doing business in India, such dilemmas between business targets and ethics are played out every single day. Only the very naive will doubt which of the two prevails more often. Just that every time ethics are compromised in order to achieve a business goal, a sting operation is not standing by to capture it on camera.

At the middle manager level, if ethical conduct is to have any chance of withstanding the strong pressures that arise from the unrelenting demand for more growth and better performance, the CEO has to lead the battle.

The CEO is responsible to set and communicate business targets. The CEO is also responsible to promote clean and ethical conduct at all times. Unless the CEO communicates the latter with as much gusto as the former, India Inc and its middle managers will never be able to live up to a higher moral code.

Far too many CEOs do not do this enough. As a result, far too many companies never manage to take the essence of the values dutifully enshrined in their codes of conduct and infuse it into the daily work and business culture of thousands of employees.

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/opinion/guest-writer/sting-on-3-private-banks-managers-fail-ethics-test-if-ceos-dont-talk-ethics/articleshow/18981558.cms

Do Not Keep Your Career Above Your Personal Life Says Former CEO of Lehman Brothers

'I do not wish that for anyone': Woman, 47, who was top exec at Lehman Brothers tells of her regret at putting her career ahead of her hopes to become a mother

• Erin Callan's devotion to her career triggered collapse of her first marriage
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• She was on her BlackBerry 'every waking second' and ate meals at desk
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• Now married to second husband and is trying for first child at the age of 47
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• Wall St star now believes: 'I didn't need to be so extreme to succeed'
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• Regrets follow Facebook boss Sheryl Sandberg's advice to 'have it all'

The former finance boss of Lehman Brothers has revealed she deeply regrets the sacrifices she made for her job and told working women: 'It's not worth it'.

Erin Callan, who was Chief Financial Officer at the bank and one of the most powerful women in finance, says the price she paid to rise to the top of the male-dominated Wall Street world was too high - and that she regrets not having children.

Callan, 47, revealed that the lack of balance in her life led to her divorce from her first husband, because she would never do anything on the weekends except sleep to 'recharge' or get an early start on Monday's meetings.

'Sometimes young women tell me they admire what I’ve done. As they see it, I worked hard for 20 years and can now spend the next 20 focused on other things.

'But that is not balance. I do not wish that for anyone,' she says.

Her confession comes amid increased debate over women in top positions, triggered by Facebook exec Sheryl Sandberg and Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer. 

They have called on women to be more vocal in their attempts to break through a male-dominated culture but have still committed to work huge hours.

Sandberg, 43, has urged women to 'lean in' to their careers before having children, rather than step back in order to prioritise family. 

The mother-of-two has sparked uproar by claiming women 'self impose' limits on their careers - but she has been accused of failing to recognise that most people cannot afford nannies that allow them to pursue a big career. 

Now Callan has entered the debate with a moving op-ed in Sunday's New York Times where she discusses trying for in vitro fertilization with her new husband and the 'devastation' she felt after losing her job in 2008.

Callan says she's spent a lot of time reflecting on the choices she made since resigning just months before the storied investment bank declared bankruptcy, triggering the Great Recession.

'I couldn’t just rally and move on. I did not know how to value who I was versus what I did. What I did was who I was,' she says.

Until recently, I thought my singular focus on my career was the most powerful ingredient in my success. But I am beginning to realize that I sold myself short. 

'I was talented, intelligent and energetic. It didn’t have to be so extreme. Besides, there were diminishing returns to that kind of labor,' she now realizes.

'I didn’t have to be on my BlackBerry from my first moment in the morning to my last moment at night. I didn’t have to eat the majority of my meals at my desk.

'I didn’t have to fly overnight to a meeting in Europe on my birthday. I now believe that I could have made it to a similar place with at least some better version of a personal life. Not without sacrifice — I don’t think I could have “had it all” — but with somewhat more harmony.'

Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sandberg has made headlines with her book 'Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead', which she says is a call to push feminism forward.

The business exec, who has a personal wealth of $500 million, urges women not to 'lean back' when it comes to their lives, but to 'lean in' - give it 100% in all areas of their life - so they can 'have it all.' 

One of her core beliefs is that the reason why the percentage of women in senior government and business roles in the U.S. has not risen above 14 per cent is not just down to institutional sexism, but due to women’s unconscious self-sabotage. 

She warns of the dangers of female self-effacement, hesitancy and over-thinking. She identifies priorities for women who want to break through the glass ceiling and join her in the corporate stratosphere. 

First, they must ‘sit at the table’ at work, literally and metaphorically. Don’t hang around in the background but push forward in the self-confident way men do.

Second, they must ensure their husband or partner does an equal share of the domestic duties. 

Finally, and this is the big one, in typical management-speak jargon she says they mustn’t ‘leave before they leave’ — i.e. if a woman plans to have children, she must keep working and striving for promotion to the bitter end. ‘Keep your foot on the pedal until the very day you need to leave to take care of a child,’ she says.

She has now re-married and is a stepmother. She said she and and her second husband are 'hoping' to conceive her first child through artificial means.

'I have spent several years now living a different version of my life, where I try to apply my energy to my new husband, Anthony, and the people whom I love and care about. 

'But I can’t make up for lost time,' she concedes, now acknowledging that 'most importantly' she does not have children of her own, a far cry from a woman who admits she spent every waking second glued to her BlackBerry.

'I have often wondered whether I would have been asked to be C.F.O. if I had not worked the way that I did.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2291316/Former-Lehman-Brothers-CFO-Erin-Callan-regrets-putting-career-ahead-hopes-mother.html